Superman Direct Deposits

I gripped the steering wheel with my leather gloves and thought about Batman. I thought, that's how Batman would grip his steering wheel, in the Batmobile. I was waiting at the drive-thru at the bank. It was taking forever, and I was getting anxious because there was a car behind me. I hate to think someone is waiting behind me, I can't stand it.
But Batman wouldn't care, so I gripped the steering wheel like my parents had been gunned down in an alley. I set my jaw, and relaxed it. This is how Batman would look in his car, impassive, inscrutable. I just put the brakes on a drug cartel down by the docks, and now you're taking forever with my transaction?

I practiced my breathing, for the time I would have to disarm a bomb, probably tomorrow. I wondered if the cowl would be restrictive. Even if it was, Batman wouldn't stop to adjust it, so I would just have to deal with it. I wondered if the tips of my bat ears would rub the ceiling of the car, that would drive me crazy. I imagined having a sore neck all the time from hunching down in the car, so my ears wouldn't rub.

Sometimes when I sit in my car, just as a regular guy, not the Dark Knight, I work myself up a wedgie. This line of thought had me rethinking the cape.

I thought about the moral code that came along with it. How far would I have to be pushed that I would kill a bad guy? Probably not far, I was kinda in a foul mood. But it seemed to me, crime would probably fall another ten percent if Batman would just break some goon's damn neck; not even a real bad guy, just the hired help. Snap. Alluva sudden the bad guy lines would shorten a little.

Another question: would I go for just the stark bat symbol on the chest, or the one with the yellow oval behind it? Really, I'm partial to the yellow oval. I might even go for the gray and blue suit, too.

What the hell was taking this lady so long? I just assumed it was a woman. But I would never honk, I wouldn't honk my horn for anything. I didn't want any nasty looks, which is something I'd probably have to get over, being Batman. The guy behind me was probably working himself up to have a stroke, but there was nothing I could do. Why wasn't he honking? If he honked, I could just shrug and give an amiable smile to the bank teller. Some People, the shrug would convey. We get that all the time, the teller would say over the intercom. I would bark out some laugh, and my self-loathing would reach all new levels.
I finally resolved to myself that I would look over and at least give the camera a nasty look. If not a nasty one, just a not-smiling one.
That's when my dreams of being Batman came to an abrupt halt; really, they just shattered all over the place. Because, when it comes down to it, I wasn't really the Batman type.

But really because, Batman would never forget to press the "Send" button.