Set Your Demographic to Wide

I dunno if you heard the buzz, but Skyfall is supposed to be the best Bond ever. Well. Remember how you don't remember Quantum of Solace? In about six months you'll be getting the two movies mixed up, and you'll have to say, "The one Javier Bardem was in."

Craig looks good, he pulls off the performance we've come to expect from him, but the movie isn't clever. Instead of a Bond movie, it's more like a movie that reminds you of a Bond movie.

Throughout the movie we are given the impression Bond is tired. It's been a good, long run and he's even thinking about retiring (or, at least he's toying with the idea of not telling people he's really alive).

Then we sit through a few scenes that show Bond's not up to snuff anymore, that this must be his swan song, which we accept as he flies the city-leveling bomb out over the wait- wait...wait, wrong movie, sorry.

Javier Bardem plays Janus, a Double-O agent from the past who has turned rogue and is going after MI6, wait! No...no, wait, it's not Janus...Sean Bean plays Janus in Goldeneye...Bardem plays...uh...hell, a Hispanic character with a Swedish swirl?

Well, then Bardem is captured and taken back to MI6 and put into a clear cage in some dark room. But it turns out Bardem really wanted to be captured in the first place! He's right there in their hands under lock and key when things go completely to shit! It was a part of his master plan the entire time! So, then the Hulk and Bardem's brother, Thor, get into a huge fight....wait, that doesn't sound right...Reader, I'm sorry, I'm trying to keep it straight.

It's a great Daniel Craig movie. It is not a great James Bond movie.

WM gives it a: Jammed Blaster